not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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