so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
