guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
