I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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