I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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