There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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