PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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