My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
