Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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