the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
