Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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