Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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