Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
