Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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