ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
