Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
tell me about the eggs
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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