Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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