Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
