the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
