i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
