Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
