it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
