He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
