my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
