Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
