Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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