I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize