Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize