Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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