i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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