So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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