CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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