Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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