so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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