i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Did I show you my penis last night?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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