I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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