i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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