Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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