No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
