five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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