brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
