ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
