Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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