i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Boobs are out for the taking
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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