I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize