In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize