you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
