Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
