google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I just went to clothing optional bar
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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