This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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