As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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