plz talk dirty to me
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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