Do you still have your period?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Panties = found
Randomize
