By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
