I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
