Little spoons don't ask big questions
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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