Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
