Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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