Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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