I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
We have so much sex to catch up on
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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