I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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