I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
