When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
